1 Corinthians 7:1-7
About the Text
(1) Why does Paul say, "It is good for a man not to marry," when he seems to advocate marriage elsewhere in the Bible? There are two interpretations Bible scholars hold to concerning this verse. One possible interpretation is that Paul was quoting a Corinthian saying, which was contrary to his belief in marriage. Another interpretation is that Paul generally advocates marriage, but encourages singleness for those who have the genuine gift of celibacy, i.e. the absence of sexual desire or the remarkable ability to control it. I support the latter interpretation, because of verses 7, 8, 9, 25, and 32-35. Celibacy should not be seen as a higher ideal than marriage. Rather, it should be seen as a special calling for a few. For most people, God intends them for marriage, in order to avoid sexual immorality (v. 2), for a man and woman to mutually fulfill each other's needs (v. 3-4), to procreate (Gen. 1:28), and to develop the family and the Christian community in an orderly way (Eph. 5:22-33). In short, God designed man for marriage. Celibacy is the exception.
(2) In this verse, is Paul telling everyone to get married? No. What Paul means is that man should have sexual relations with his wife and no one else, and a woman should have sexual relations with her husband. The meaning of "to have" in this verse is "to have sexual relations with."
(3) Why does Paul call sex a "duty"? He is not advocating a mechanical, lifeless sex! Rather, he is simply calling husbands and wives to stop withholding sex from each other.
(4) What does Paul mean by "the wife/husband's body does not belong to her alone"? He means that the purpose of sex is not only for one's own pleasure, but also for the spouse's. While the world seeks sex because "it makes me feel good," the Christian seeks sex because "it makes my spouse feel good." One is "selfish sex," the other is "servant sex." If Christian partners would serve each other in this way, there would be great satisfaction, fulfillment, harmony, and peace in the marriage. God's principle of servanthood is essential to a happy marriage.
(6) What "concession" is Paul refering to? His statement in verse 5. In other words, he is not commanding spouses to take a sexual "leave of absence," but rather is allowing them to only for the purpose of prayer. This statement shows how strongly Paul stressed the importance of mutually fulfilling sexual relations in a marriage, that he gave only one, very limited exception to it.
Insights
The Bottom Line
Sex is good. God created it. He created us to have it. He created marriage to be full of it. Why should sex be more fulfilling for the Christian than for the non-Christian? Because, believe it or not, the Christian has a greater motive to pursue more fulfilling sexual relations than the non-Christan. See, the Christian believes that he is full of sin. In his natural state, his sex life was full of lust, perversion, and immorality. But when you, a Christian, accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, you believed that He took your sin away by dying on a cross, taking the punishment for your sin. You believe He earned eternal life and all the blessings of salvation for you in spite of your sin. When you become sure of your salvation, you become so thankful to Jesus Christ for what He did on the cross, that you automatically want to live more in line with God's design, even in your sex life. That means that you will have a desire to marry, with each spouse wanting to do their all to please the other physically, sexually, romantically, socially, as well as spiritually. We want to become servants, not selfish.